What do you see when you look inside?
I used to find it very simple to answer this question.
I see myself, doing the things I do and identifying myself with all the roles I have to play, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a teacher.
Yes, that is who I am. Or so I thought. I started asking myself this question everyday and very gradually, this answer did not satisfy me anymore.
What did I actually see? I started trying to peel away the roles that define my person, what did I see? Nothing for a while. I was very confused by the emptiness of that answer, so slowly i started filling that space with the things I saw. I saw myself be nice and compassionate. I started seeing myself being selfish. I started seeing myself being hypocritical at times, dispassionate at times. I observed how I felt when my cat died. I felt ashamed when I drove past a dying cat on the road, probably just hit by a car. I saw myself crying when I saw the picture of the child dead on the beach. I sometimes ignored phone calls from my mother. I saw myself running to the window when my partner would drive back home after work. What did I see when I started looking inside? Definitely not a single entity. I saw the whole universe in all its goodness and darkness inside me.